Sometimes we can find ourselves longing for things to change, particularly when something negative has been hanging on and on with no sign of improvement. Whether it’s coping with a lingering health problem or wishing a misunderstanding with friends or colleagues was over or just dealing with our daily demands, sometimes the position we’re in can feel just plain oppressive. When that happens, it’s important not to let it get to us – if we dwell on enduring negativity it becomes a ‘thing’ in itself – another enduring problem we have to deal with on top of everything else.

This is where Kendo advises that it’s most important to let things go. The time-honoured phrase, “God grant me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference” gives a valuable perspective, but Kendo says that there is an additional perspective to consider.

The phrase essentially divides problems into the kinds you either can or cannot change, and provides the understanding that it’s ok not to be able to change some things. This is good because you’re being given permission not to dwell on things you can’t change, but sometimes the things you want to change are uncomfortable and unpleasant and all the strength you’ve applied hasn’t been enough. This can be depressing because it implies that we’re powerless to bring about change and that a bad situation might go on and on without improving.

Kendo says that it’s essential to break free from this kind of thinking because feeling this way is more disempowering than we realise. He reminds us that the conscious mind has its limits and can’t be expected to know all answers, and if it ends up going round in circles looking for answers it can’t find, it gets frustrated with itself, which causes anxiety. That’s the time to switch it off, and doing so even briefly can be very helpful.

Breaking-in to the above cycle stills the mental noise and liberates our intuition – we get a break from our problems and new insights come to us about how to approach them in new ways. This is the power of meditation, finding a moment of Zen peace.

Thus, Kendo’s additional perspective might be worded as follows:

“I will do my best to bring about positive change, and when that work is done I will let all my problems fall away from my mind, and in that state of freedom and peace I will be inspired anew to see things with a fresh perspective and with new insights to help me make more positive changes.”

If you try this, you’ll be amazed at how resilient and resourceful you truly are.